Anti-Social Media: bickering on the beat

This is both an illustration and a clue

It’s boys versus girls at one major news beat, an anonymous source tells us.


The conflict apparently started at a sponsored excursion (which is what people used to call junkets in the 1980s) where tequila (which people used to drink in the 1990s) and hormones combined in a cocktail of conflict.


To keep things wholesome, guys were billeted together in one room, and girls were supposed to sleep in another room. Reporters being a drunken and unwholesome lot, one guy reporter ended up sleeping in the girls’ room after they asked him to hang out for a while.


This, apparently, did not fly with the other guy reporters because a. ancient laws of propriety were broken, b. they wanted to hang out with the girl reporters too, c. they said that reporter was just faking drunkenness to sleep in the girls’ room. Not to, you know, get laid or anything like that. Just to get to hang out with girls. Which, I don’t know, should only piss you off for not thinking of it first.


So, the guys got pissed off at drunken reporter guy for being better at chicks (and being less married) than they were, and at the girls for falling for it, I guess.


The conflict has reportedly resulted in snide remarks being thrown around, passive-aggressive status messages on Facebook and other social media, and an actual shouting match between a hotshot guy reporter and a girl reporter, both from major broadsheets.


Another source says the conflict has even reached the people these reporters are supposed to be covering. They have been asking reporters about the conflict, possibly because they think they have the monopoly on petty word wars and easily-offended pride.


One one hand, it’s nice to know that the media has been practicing self regulation and respects family values. On the other hand, it’s sad that that self regulation is on something as silly as this.


From what sources have been telling Indolent Indio, being on the take is okay as long as you don’t act like you’re a chick magnet.

Live blogging the Rapture

Well, it has been a long and strange trip, but all things must come to an end. We have had a lot of good laughs here at Indolent Indio, but Harold Camping, “a tireless student of the Bible for over five decades,” says its time to shut things down on account of  the world ending on May 21, 2011.

On that day, the tribulation begins, Camping’s Family Radio Worldwide says. There will be a great earthquake “so powerful it will throw open all graves” and dead good people will go to heaven.


The Raptcha! Coming to getcha!


On the other hand, the bodies of all unsaved people will be thrown out upon the ground to be shamed. The inhabitants who survive this terrible earthquake will exist in a world of horror and chaos beyond description,” Camping says. So, it goes without saying we won’t be updating this blog much after that.

As a final gesture of thanks to Indolent Indio readers who have been with us through the years, we shall be live blogging the Rapture. In fact, our last few days of online existence will be devoted to the Rapture (and characteristic laziness).

Please follow us on twitter (@indolentindio) and let’s wail together about the end times. Let us make our cries for mercy a trending topic. And may God bless us, every one.

The Best Motel Discount Card Ever

There are two things that Filipinos love: fucking and saving money.

Unfortunately, nobody wants to admit wanting to either have sex or save money or worse, both at the same time.

Which makes the subject of motel discount cards particularly taboo. In a country where taking a girl to a motel is bad enough (versus bringing her home to meet your mother, say), saying “Relax, I can get us 20 percent off the room rate” won’t earn you any points. Even admitting that you have one will get you gasps followed by awkward silence.


Excuse me while I whip this out

The motels have had to be creative with their discount cards, with top-tier Victoria Court coming out with a plain black plastic card that doesn’t even have their logo or name on it. Semi-shady discount hotel Eurotel has a discreet little plastic tab printed with a vaguely European coat of arms ripped off from Fred Perry.

But Sogo Hotel beats them both with its strategy of hiding in plain sight.


This isn't even mine. I swear.

Perfect for those times when a. you’re horny and your chances of getting laid depends on naming each station along Manila’s train lines and b. you’re horny and accidentally kill someone/set something on fire.

This Pageant is Decadent and Depraved

Pic in no way related

A dispatch from Calatagan, Batangas reports that a certain beauty pageant is now what “That’s Entertainment!” and talent shows of its ilk were in the 1980s and 1990s: a hunting ground for politicians looking for starlets.

Not that Indolent Indio is in any way a credible source of information, but our baby mouse tells us that many candidates have politicians as backers and sponsors.

Said patronage can get weird sometimes. Like in the case of the mayor of the Municipality of Birdland (obviously not the actual name of the municipality, but it would have been awesome if so) who backs one candidate and wants her to win.

But Birdland already had an official candidate and she didn’t want to give way to the mayor’s bet. So the mayor has his candidate run to represent the neighboring Municipality of Macondo.

With that, municipal support for Miss Birdland dried up and she wasn’t even allowed to use the municipality’s van to get around. It is not a huge leap to think that that support went to Miss Macondo, actually a resident of Birdland.

The questionable wisdom in using municipal funds to pay for candidate aside (a win, could, after all, up the municipality’s prestige), using those funds to pay for a candidate from another town is downright treacherous.

Pageants have also apparently evolved much from the stage mommies (and families)
we saw in “Little Miss Sunshine” and, well, the actual Little Miss Philippines.

Our baby mouse says candidates have managers and handlers now, and they have machinery in place to help ensure a win. Envelopes for reporters and bloggers covering the event, say. He said this will help justify a rigged win.

The managers are particularly worried about one candidate, the favorite of a local politician where the pageant’s finals will be held. They say will likely win because her backer agreed to provide a venue for the finals.

The existence of pageants in a country that claims respect for women is debatable but the backdoor deals and back stories suggest that they are more than just about who is the smartest and prettiest.

If we are picking beauties who will represent the Philippines in international pageants, then the apple should go to the fairest, not to who paid the most.

Five reasons Metro Cebu is better than Metro Manila

We’re not even talking about the city’s fine females whom we saw, encountered, gawked at, stared at, thought about, talked to, fantasized, toasted to, drank with, flirted with, hit on, gossiped about, Googled, confronted, took pictures of, tailed.

Pic from

For your reference

Everything except scored with, given the nature of our limited budget, lack of sophistication, and overall charm deficit.

In any case, Cebuanas are works of art, national treasures, true symbols of Filipino beauty.

And yes, that includes you, Governor Gwen Garcia, despite your bad hair days.

Cebuanas deserve a separate blog entry, an ode, here at Indolent Indio.

But we’re getting carried away.

And so, to begin:

Bigger is not necessarily better.

Best proof of that is Metro Manila.

Besides being the Philippines’ richest and most populous city, the metropolis also enables its residents to enjoy a 24/7 lifestyle every single day of the year.

As a result, every Manileño — including the pseudo-city slickers in Tondo and the coño kids in Makati — exude a sense of superiority wherever they go.

But those days are about to end, if they haven’t yet.

How come?

Metro Cebu is about to overtake Manila in more ways than one.

With its low-key nightlife and well-planned urban development, Cebu has increasingly trumped the offerings of Metro Manila.

Facilities in the Queen City of the South are not only world-class but are more advanced than those in Manila.

It has everything that the capital can offer without the severe urban blight that is Manila.

Take our first example.


For years, the Mactan International Airport reigned supreme.

Before terminals two and three of Manila’s Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) were built, everyone — Manileños included — were aghast at the monumental confusion spawned by its layout.

Departing or arriving at the NAIA was like being stuck in a government housing project whose contractor absconded with the money the minute the check cleared.

You needed a guide to navigate the maze that would bring you to the boarding gate and once there, you needed someone to take a pee break before you could even get a seat.

Just a decade later, NAIA’s Terminal II — built (or so it seemed) for the exclusive use of Philippine Airlines, now controlled by Lucio Tan — is showing its progenitor’s shortfalls.

Even on regular days, passengers are reduced to munching on exorbitantly-priced yet tasteless sandwiches while standing up.

No such thing at the Mactan airport, then and now.

Seats at the departure lounge are always available, even if the terminal serves passengers of as much as seven flights — domestic and international — on a given hour.

Also, pre-flight entertainment

Moreover, if your flight gets cancelled, all you have to do is to park your posterior at the nearest strategic location and drink in the sights of young, nubile, and shapely Cebuano-speaking eye candy.

This piece of advice is especially useful if you’re male or lesbian.

But let’s not get into that.


Taxis are plenty to and from the Mactan airport, within the metro, and any which way to and from the city. And even though drivers only speak a sprinkling of Tagalog, most of them won’t screw you over.

Best proof — again — is reason Numero Uno: the airport.

Upon reaching the arrival area, passengers can choose to board yellow cabs that are readily available on the same floor but at higher prices.

The well-worn and otherwise budget-conscious traveller is advised to take the elevator to the second floor — the departure area — and exit the building from there.


Just outside the departure area’s entrance and exit gates is a queue of regular-priced cabs, waiting for their next fare.

To ensure against any irregularities, security personnel are posted at the head of the line, handing out small pieces of paper containing the cab’s license plate number, useful for reporting incidents should anything go wrong.

No such arrangements are available at the departure area of Manila’s Terminal II.

Cabs are encouraged to leave without any passengers at all once their fares have gotten off.

So what happens?

The driver will only take you in if you agree to pay an extra amount on top of the regular fare and/or if you promise to let him cop a feel.

This insight is especially useful if you’re female, gay, or lesbian.

But let’s not get into that.

Talk Radio

If Manila’s airwaves have Papa Jack, Metro Cebu has Papa Joe.

Papa Jack’s good in dispensing advice to his callers regarding matters of the heart and — arguably — cracking jokes.

But Papa Joe’s better.

Besides being the audio version of an advice column, Papa Joe also helps out with the sundry problems of Cebuanos — dead, malfunctioning cellphones,
faulty motorcycle engines, and — get this — high blood and aneurysm.

He even knows if his callers just want airtime because he lets out a barrage of questions before answering them.

Moreover, unlike Ernie Baron, he doesn’t claim to know everything.

If Papa Joe doesn’t know the answer to a question, he asks listeners to call back without telling them that they should buy triangle-shaped hats or drink water from boiled leaves.

Also unlike Ernie Baron, Papa Joe can rap.


The Cebu City government has always advertised its South Road Properties (SRP) Project on at least one local cable television channel.

The advertisement features Caucasian-looking executives, extolling the virtues of doing business in Cebu and why investors should put their money in the city, particularly the SRP.

A reclaimed area, the project will soon be the site of another SM Mall of Asia by 2013, among other developments.

To ensure the smooth flow of vehicular traffic between the SRP and the city, project’s proponents have already built a highway for the very purpose.

All Malls of Asia must be built on reclaimed land

In turn, the newly-constructed highway — which is to Cebu what the C-5 is to Manila — has also produced a fringe benefit.

It is now used by motorists as the main thoroughfare to the South, helping decongest traffic along the city’s old South Highway.

As far as we know, that didn’t take a genius to figure out.


Given the past four reasons, is it any wonder why Cebu continues to attract more tourists than Manila?


What does this prove?

Build good infrastructure in a city that already has a great culture and a laid-back atmosphere — tons of babes wouldn’t hurt — and you get a tourist magnet.

Not only do residents reap from the tourism industry’s multiplier effects, you also bring forth a vibrant city that is both fun to live and work in.

Fact is, there may be more tourists per square foot in Metro Cebu than any other city in Metro Manila, thanks to direct flights mounted between foreign destinations and Cebu.

Indeed, everything’s good — and cool — in Cebu.

Now, if we can only score with the babes.

But let’s not get into that.

Thank you, Indolent contributor D.R. Alvarado!

Baron Geisler Watch Update

Baron Geisler Watch

Mothers will not have to hide their daughters (or themselves)
just yet. Method actor Baron Geisler will stay in rehab for
three more months.

Geisler checked himself into Penuel House in San Juan
for his alcoholism and boob-grabbiness related to
his alcoholism.

The three-month rehabilitation period that Baron
subjected himself to ended last month.

However, the former child actor said he has decided
that the time he has spent in rehab has not been enough for him
to learn what he needs to learn.

“You know, kulang pa ang three months (the three months
was not enough, as already stated in the last paragraph).
So, I decided to stay longer,” said Baron.

Having to deal with a crippling social illness myself (lack of manners
and excessive shyness), I really do wish Mr. Geisler the best.

He has joined the Christian church that runs the rehabilitation center,
and now prefers sliced bread and peanut butter, apparently.

Dad punches baby to death

Restitoto Ibo Jr, a shitbag jeepney conductor in Cebu punched his one-year-old baby to death
for, well, being such a baby.

Ibo said he was trying to put Patrick to sleep in a hammock but the child kept on crying.
Having lost patience, Ibo punched and slapped the child.”

As a former contributor to Smart Parenting magazine,I know that babies
can generally only do three things:sleep, cry, shit themselves. Sometimes all at the same time.

Not among a baby’s skills: not crying so his dad won’t get mad, withstanding repeated punches
to the head,and choosing to not be born to a shitbag father or an incompetent mother.