Indolent Internet Digest 9

Manila tech start up Pencil Rocket has come out with taxikick.com, a website that allows you to report abusive taxi drivers. The complaints, or “kicks,” are forwarded to the Metro Manila Development Authority and the Land Transportation Franchising and Regulatory Board.

Recent kicks on the site paint a picture of cab drivers who are rude, who short change passengers, give generally bad service, and serve cold pizza.

Photo from sofimi on Twitter

Indolent Indio is still verifying reports that Ver.2 will also give copies of complaints to the local TBS13 (and similar local gang) in the area so they can actually kick cabs.

 

And since we are on apps, Commission on Elections spokesman James Jimenez has an idea to pitch to developers: The Reality Check App (Recapp), for politicians and pundits who harp on about why X country has this but we don’t.

“They can peer at the innovation or the thing or WHATEVER through their smartphones and voila! up pops information about how much that innovation would cost if it were to be implemented in the Philippines, how much money the organization actually has, and what they’re gonna have to cut spending on if they really want to see that innovation implemented.”

 

Diario Filipinas is our go-to source for news from the front and on the revolution. They live-tweeted the execution of Dr. Jose Rizal and have been keeping us updated on militarization in the countryside.

They are on Twitter, but may not be for long. Their latest exclusive: Polavieja may be preparing for an offensive against the rebels by February. Leaked rebel documents indicate they have been preparing against attacks since December.

 

Also in fighting the powers that be, somebody apparently defaced the Wikipedia page of impeached Chief Justice Renato Corona, changing his title to ‘thief justice’ and implying a special relationship between him and court administrator Midas Marquez.

Militant gays were quick to condemn the gay-bashing, but apparently not the “Thief Justice” tag because although politicians and government officials can be persecuted, they are in no way marginalized.

“We totally deplore this heinous way of using gay slurs for launching political attacks between the opposing sides in the impeachment trial,” declared Goya Candelario, spokesperson of ProGay, in a statement.

This was followed by an urgent appeal from Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales to help keep the site running.

 

RELEVANT: The Top 10 grilled liempo (pork belly) in Metro Manila, according to Spot.ph
Like its distant cousin Pep.Ph, the comments section is all kinds of classy.

“Baliwag? Seriously?! haha. mas masarap pa dun sa ‘liempuhan’ beside SPUM”–Spot reader ‘dc’

“Their liempo are too crispy and are major rip-off. Now worthy for its cost. its not even crispy. Darn.”–Spot reader ‘skies’

Truly, if a Filipino can express a contrary opinion without any consequences, he will do it.

The Filipino will also eat pork belly despite the consequences

 

And since we’re on that, here is former Department of Tourism undersecretary Vicente Romano III* on people hating on the new tourism slogan announced last week:

“You see the new DOT slogan trending and creating a lot of positive buzz. You tell yourself, “this is too good to be true.” So you google “It’s more fun in” and true enough, it’s been used before by Switzerland.

Never mind that Switzerland used it way back in 1951. Or that there was “Truly Tuscany” before Malaysia’s “Truly Asia”, Amazing Australia before Amazing Thailand, and Incredible Italy before Incredible India.

No. We can’t stoop down to their level. Iba ang Pinoy. Kailangan Orig!”

This was, by far, the classiest response to negative feedback to “It’s more fun in the Philippines.” The least classy was probably from one Twitter/real-life celebrity who, when some girl from the US dared say the slogan was “the stupidest thing ever” because it’s not true that it’s more fun in the Philippines, called her out with a “self-hating Filipino, much?”

It turns out the girl had had deep personal reasons for not liking the Philippines. Twitter/real-life celebrity backed off, eventually, after reminding the girl to “think before you click.” Lesson learned! Also, “Internet tough guy, much?”

Comelec’s Jimenez has this to say about that:

“Just because someone disagrees doesn’t make them a downer – a negatron, someone tweeted. Doesn’t make them an enemy either, or a de-stabilizer. Very few people on twitter are actually anti-PHL, but nearly all are opinionated. This is a good thing.”

And finally, here is a strip from web comic/blog Cereal Saturdays that will never get old (unlike the experience of shopping with troll parents):

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*For context: Former Department of Tourism undersecretary Vicente Romano III left government service over the last tourism logo and campaign, which was found to have been very similar to a tourism campaign for Poland. The DOT quietly dropped its “Obejrzyj prezentacje o Polsce” campaign soon after launch.

Planking: It’s time to move on

Guys. We get it. Planking is the protest action du jour, especially after Quezon City Representative Winston Castelo proposed a controversial and draconian law to penalize planking on the streets during protest rallies.

As predicted, though, Filipinos took an Internet meme, hyped it up, then beat that dead horse until it could not possibly get any more dead without turning into a zombie metaphorical horse that is then shot in the head.

Sometimes, as with this group of fisher folk protesting the creation of the Aurora Pacific Economic Zone (APECO), Filipinos tend to take things overboard.

Did you see what we did there? Overboard? Eh? Eh? (bulatlat.com)

I hate to be a spoilsport, two dudes in the water, but planking in the sea is called floating. Possibly, snorkeling. That doesn’t even follow the concept of the meme, strictly speaking.  Planking is supposed to be done in places where people are not likely to be lying face down and stiff as a board. What those guys are doing is called sunbathing in most places.

Not to belittle the gripes of Aurora residents against APECO or anything. Those guys have legitimate complaints. They say construction of APECO has destroyed mangroves where the fish they catch live, and has caused flooding in the area. Using a tired old Internet meme to get those issues across trivializes the whole thing, though.

Best Press Statement Ever!

Senator Ralph Recto and his media team deserve an award for Best Reaction to Ombudsman Merceditas Gutierrez’s Resignation. It will probably be a one-off award and will not be as respected as a Pulitzer, but still, props to the guy for this wonderful press statement:

“This means that the latest reality TV show gets axed even before the first live episode is aired. We won’t be wearing those togas anymore. But it is a cancellation that both the actors and the audience do welcome. It doesn’t mean however that this is ‘The End’ of this political telenovela because we are speaking here of one person’s resignation and not the termination of the judicial proceedings that the cases will have to go through. The action simply shifts to the proper forum – the courts – where these cases duly belong.”

"The impeachment is a telenovela. That is all I have to say about that."

While his colleagues were talking about how the biggest (perceived) hindrance to getting some sort of justice after nine years of anomalies under then president Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo, Recto–a former Arroyo ally–went another way. He probably knew that going that route would mean he’d be overshadowed by media darlings like Senator Francis Escudero so he just said “Fuck it. Let’s have some fun with this.”

And for that, he deserves a slow clap and the only post Indolent Indio will do on the ombudsman’s resignation.

Filipino Finance Exec Sneaks His Sperm Into Bottled Water

Michael Lallana - Got Milk?

Oh he got it alright.

You know how Filipinos take the success and international fame of an individual and makes it a triumph of the whole nation? Well that cuts both ways.

Meet Michael Kevin Lallana, a finance executive in California, who allegedly put his sperm in his co-worker’s bottled water.

This is, according to the Orange County DA, the second time Lallana has bequeathed his coworker with semen-laced H2O. The first time, on January 14, he left some of his “vitamin” water on her desk; she drank it, felt sick and poured it out. The second time happened in March, after both had been transferred from Newport Beach to Orange—but this time, the woman wised up and sent the bottle to a private lab for testing. The lab got back to her in June, with the results:Semen.

This is a dark day for our nation.

Sometimes we just don’t get Barrio Siete

We all love Bario Siete, the blog that rules the Philippine blogosphere. True, it is a love that is born of fear, but still.

Sometimes, though, they tend to Hamlet it up with words, words, words that it’s easy to get lost and go, “say, what?”

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We get it, Ely Buendia

You’re cool. You’re the face of ’90s rock.

You made up things like Tahong Chips Ahoy and turned the silly randomness of youth into the culture of a generation. You changed your name to Jesus “Dizzy” Ventura because you’re like our Michael Jackson. Nothing’s too weird for you, and that’s cool.

You totally deserve to be NU107’s Rock Boss (whatever that is) for May because, dude, you are so boss.

But Jesus Christ, did you have to come to that radio spot they keep playing pretty much every fucking hour stoned or lazy or both?

When Karl Roy of POT said in 1999 that his inspiration for his songs was “I take a lot of drugs,” I thought that was pretty cool. Because it was 1999 and we were all young and stupid and taking a lot of drugs.

When you tell us now that you get your new material from the “new material section beside the produce section at Shopwise department store,” it isn’t cool anymore. Not because the answer wasn’t witty. It was (in 1999).

But you delivered it in such a bored fashion that it went from laid back I say random things to just plain I don’t give a fuck.

And, dude, you’re a rock icon. You sort of owe it to the kids with dreams of being in a band to give better advice than just, you know, “listen to classic music.”

If Lourd de Veyra could go from singing about pigs and Astro cigarettes to making nation building hip, you can probably do better than telling the kids that music,” rock music for that matter,” started long before they were born.

In the intro to that radio spot, you ask mock philosophically “Why should I tell you who Ely Buendia is when I’m him?” On hindsight, maybe you really shouldn’t have.

(thx, mouse! no thx, ely!)

Greenpeace anti-coal video says nothing at all

This Greenpeace video teaches us about the evils of coal-fired power plants by telling us nothing at all.

Listen, Greenpeace, we know that saving the Earth is important. But surely you can send that message without resorting to the environmentalist version of  “or face the wrath of God.”

I’m just saying.