Tuvutt: What comes out when you try to type in that german smiley before you realize you’re using predictive text.
Xenophobia Begins At Home 4: Muslims
Not Your Average Muslim.
Background:
Some guy told me once that we’re lucky the Spanish came along otherwise we’d all be Muslims. While that is indeed some pretty narrow-minded thinking, it’s true that our islands were well on their way to being Islamic in the 1500s. Sultans ruled Mindanao and it is safe to say that “what would Jesus do?” was not the philosophical question that the kingdoms of Manila and Tondo pondered either. Given that the Muslim Filipinos have been around since pretty much forever, it’s sad that we fear them and treat them as a totally alien people. A totally alien people who can be counted on to provide us with pirated DVDs. read more
Iron Man Visits The UP Campus
Invincible Iron Man #4:
Tony Stark visits the headquarters of the Triumph Division, a Philippine superhero team that died in Invincible Iron Man #2.
Real World:
That’s the Church of the Holy Sacrifice in UP Diliman. It was designed by Leandro Locsin, Napoleon Abueva, Victor Manansala, Ang Kiukok and Arturo Luz. They were like the Avengers, except their superpowers were in art and architecture.
–OneTamad
Cut The Bullshit, Eraserheads
“Invitations cannot be purchased and are not transferable. Controls will be in place at all entry points to the event to ensure that only persons with invitations are allowed to enter…â€
–Louis C. Camilleri, CEO, Philip Morris,
on the E-heads reunion concert
Come on, Eraserheads. This is bullshit and you know it.
I mean, fine, who doesn’t need money, right? We’re in the middle of an economic crisis, and a couple of million pesos does sound pretty sweet right now. But it’s one thing to write the jingle for a Burger Machine ad or to ham it up on camera to sell Chippy, and it’s another thing altogether to finally agree to come together and play again but only for people who are above 18, smoke Marlboros, and signed up for Marlboro’s Red List.
Indolent, MD.
Hard times give way to sickness. The economic-social-political crisis gives way to the deterioration of health.
These days are prone to epidemic outbreaks, and we at The Indolent Indio are most keen observers.
Look out for that Tamaditis virus going around. Its primary stages quickly escalate into a full-blown acute syndrome. Though not genetic, it can be quite chronic. Symptoms include nausea at the thought of work or school, episodes of extreme lethargy and heaviness of limbs, and the inability to concentrate.
Easy to fall prey to this virus are the masses (masa. As in masandal sa pader, tulog). Bed rest is best for full recovery.
There’s also one for kidney stones or sakit sa bato. Sakit sa bat(ugan).
–PreMadonna, who is into puns.
Xenophobia Begins At Home 3: Chinese
Secret Invasion
Background:
Wikipedia scholars, when not watching YouPorn, speculate that our island of Luzon was once part of the Song Dynasty of China.
While the factual basis of this is still debatable, records do show that the Chinese had contact with the island of May-i (supposedly our Mindoro) centuries ago. Records also show Chinese trade with a country they called Feilubin,which was prety lazy on their part.
Since Hispanic times, the Chinese have been a permanent, if repeatedly forced into ghettoes, part of our society. There was a time, it has been written, when one could purchase a Chinese servant for 50 pesos. That was, of course, back in unenlightened times when 50 pesos was actually worth something.
The Chinese have since assimilated into our society through intermarriages and clever name changes that we don’t know where their culture ends and ours begins. Pancit with rice, though, is probably all us. read more
Xenophobia Begins At Home 2: Americans
Background:
The Americans are what good Filipinos want to be when they grow up.
What We Call Them:
Joe- From Victory Joe, we suppose. By default, all Americans are Joes regardless of race, creed or gender. That’s democracy at work.
Kano- An abbreviation of Amerikano.
Puti- For the sake of convention, all white people are Americans, and all Americans are white. This is globalization at work.
What We Say About Them:
The booming outsourcing industry has taught us several things: call center agents are a horny lot, that we speak better English than most Americans, and that most Americans cannot be bothered to read the user’s manual.
More traditional sources like balikbayan titos and popular culture have shown us that Joes are also brash, lazy, loud and generally come in second place in Pinoy jokes.
Why We’re Douchbags For Saying It:
