Wikipedia, attorney-at-law

The Office of the Solicitor General recently lost an appeal for relying on that internationally respected legal luminary Atty. Wikipedia for its arguments.

Phoenix Wright shouting "Objection!"

Fallacy of being a complete idiot!

In an attempt to discredit expert testimony from a psychologist that both parties in a marriage annulment case “suffered from psychological incapacity” and should not have been married in the first place,  the OSG trotted out a Wikipedia article, which you could imagine they hastily Googled five minutes before the government lawyers filed their appeal.

The court said in its decision that it found “incredible … if not a haphazard attempt, on the part of the [OSG] to impeach an expert witness, with … unreliable information. This is certainly unacceptable evidence, nothing short of a mere allegation totally unsupported by authority.”

Pinoy defense mechanisms back in place

Now that we’ve said our official apologies, it’s time to massage our frail national ego be the defensive, onion-skinned people that we are.

Or, at least, that seems to be what Senate Majority Leader Vicente Sotto wants. At a joint congressional hearing of the Senate committees on Public Order and Illegal Drugs, and Justice and Human Rights, Sotto fired the first shot in a battle to restore the high regard that we have for ourselves.

read more »

House fact-finding team on Singson case knows nothing

The House of Representatives recently sent Marikina Representative Romero Federico Quimbo to Hong Kong to watch over Ilocos Sur Rep. Ronald Singson who was arrested at Hong Kong International Airport on suspicion of bringing in cocaine.

read more »

Cebu: Serious Business

Sorry, wayward husbands.

Department of Health officials in Cebu say ‘lingam massages,’ basically paying a girl to grope your jiji, does not fight cancer or impotence or erectile dysfunction or anything, really.

Speaking to the Cebu City Council, DOH medical specialist Dr. Jocelyn Abellana said “definitely, it has no role in the prevention of prostatic cancer. Massage like this certainly will not help at all.”

Lingam massages are popular in the Queen City of the South and Cebu is considering either banning the service or regulating who can have their penises fondled and who they can pay to do that.

Hey, big boy...

Small Tobacco cries a river over health warning order

Let’s face it. The world hates smokers. In Hong Kong, for example, you can get fined HK$5,000 (29,000 motherfucking Philippine pesos) for smoking indoors and the people who run their airport crams smokers into a poorly-ventilated cubicle that will remind you how much of a deviant you are for still thinking cigarettes are cool (or for being an addict, which is also pretty deviant.)

Small wonder, then, that tobacco companies want to keep as many smokers still smoking. Which is probably why tobacco firm Telengtan Brothers and Sons Inc (La Suerte Cigar and Cigarette Factory) tried to stop the Department of Health from implementing an order to put pictures of smoking-related diseases on cigarette packs.

read more »

Filipino Finance Exec Sneaks His Sperm Into Bottled Water

Michael Lallana - Got Milk?

Oh he got it alright.

You know how Filipinos take the success and international fame of an individual and makes it a triumph of the whole nation? Well that cuts both ways.

Meet Michael Kevin Lallana, a finance executive in California, who allegedly put his sperm in his co-worker’s bottled water.

This is, according to the Orange County DA, the second time Lallana has bequeathed his coworker with semen-laced H2O. The first time, on January 14, he left some of his “vitamin” water on her desk; she drank it, felt sick and poured it out. The second time happened in March, after both had been transferred from Newport Beach to Orange—but this time, the woman wised up and sent the bottle to a private lab for testing. The lab got back to her in June, with the results:Semen.

This is a dark day for our nation.

Rep. Boboy Syjuco, Mr. Pogi 2010

Former Technical Education and Skills Development Authority (TESDA) director general and now Iloilo Representative Augusto Syjuco Jr finds nothing wrong with putting his name and face on billboards proclaiming his projects.

After all, he appeared in a TV ad for TESDA with celebrity Sarah Geronimo just before the May elections to promote…something. TESDA’s vocational training programs, probably. Or possibly the 49,000-peso dough cutters TESDA bought when they could have gotten them for just 120 pesos.*

Singing is a technical skill.

read more »