Reporters have to be accurate about what they write. That’s probably Journalism 101. But that’s not an easy feat when you’re faced with Daniel Matsunaga, who is so many things all at once that you often don’t know where to start.
Archive for category gonzo journalism
But what?
Jun 20
Here’s a cheerfully confusing Father’s Day headline from the Inquirer: “Girl survives massacre but finds a father and a name.”
But what, Inquirer?
But carabaos?
Call me a stickler for words meaning what they do but doesn’t it suggest that ‘yeah, the girl survived the massacre and then more shit happened’?
Well, all right. The actual headline on ABS-CBN news was “Army sergeant dies in freak accident in Taguig,” but there was nothing really freaky about what happened.
A guy has an argument with his wife, walks out, and is run over by a black van. It was surprising, but not freaky by any standard. If the guy had been run over by a Jaguar…driving a Tamaraw FX, then that would have been freaky.
In fact, what’s most striking about the story is this statement from Staff Sgt. Ronnie Natividad, the victim’s buddy and fellow soldier:
Nasa loob kami tapos may narining kaming lumagabog. Sumisigaw iyong bakla, sabi niya may nasagasaan daw. Paglabas namin nakabulagta na siya dyan. (We were inside when we heard a thud. The gay man was screaming that someone had been run over. When we went outside, he was already sprawled there.)
Who was this ‘bakla’ and how does he figure in the story? Why did S/Sgt Natividad have to specify that the witness was gay? Was the witness the one they found sprawled on the ground? Was it the victim?
We are not such snobs as to turn our noses up at the prospect of showbiz gossip talk show host Boy Abunda joining the second Aquino Administration. As one of our commenters has pointed out, writing off someone just because he’s from show business is just about as intelligent as believing someone is great just because he is.
The country’s fightingest senator says that she has been doing poorly on pre-election surveys because people might look for her on the ballot under ‘Santiago’ instead of her preferred ‘Defensor-Santiago.’
This Greenpeace video teaches us about the evils of coal-fired power plants by telling us nothing at all.
Listen, Greenpeace, we know that saving the Earth is important. But surely you can send that message without resorting to the environmentalist version of ”or face the wrath of God.”
I’m just saying.
Local media was agog (as much as it could be under the circumstances) when CNN Hero of the Year Efren Penaflorida admitted to courting actress and Encyclopedia Dramatica archenemy Angel Locsin.
Thanks a lot, Angel!
To no avail, it turns out, judging from his twitter stream.
A suave casanova in Bayombong, Nueve Vizcaya has been arrested for blackmailing an ex-girlfriend with nude photos in exchange for sex.
Highest SUV per capita in RP
Alfonso Castañeda may just be a fourth-class municipality of Nueva Vizcaya province, but its officials ride around in first class.
The municipal government may soon find itself under investigation by the Office of the Ombudsman for buying 18 sports utility vehicles worth 24 million pesos including two Toyota Fortuners, the SUV for douchebags.
The purchases, not yet approved by the Nueva Vizcaya Provincial Board, have raised eyebrows in the mountainous province.
“The purchase is already in itself highly questionable because we do not believe that spending P24 million for SUVs is a priority,” a member of the Provincial Board said.
Nueva Vizcaya vice governor Jose Gambito asked the board not to make mountains of molehills, though. He said that while town officials are using the SUVs, “there is yet no indication that [Alfonso Castañeda officials] have already paid for the vehicles.”
So, basically, Alfonso Castañeda’s local politicians could be riding around in stolen property. That’s alright, then.
Ang Pambansang Mango
It seems Team Philippines is in for a good year. The Guinness Book of World Records has certified a 3.5-kilogram mango from Iligan City as the world’s largest, beating a 2.4-kilo one from Canada.
Said mango will be honored in separate resolutions at the House of Representatives and the Senate for proving that the Filipino can. Grow enormous mangoes, in this case.
Feelers from political parties have already sent overtures for endorsement deals, but growers Sergio and Maria Socorro Bodiongan are keeping their options open.
While the ripe mango’s yellow color would make it a shoo-in to join the Liberal Party, the mango may opt to side with the Nacionalista Party for its affiliation with peasant groups. On the other hand, it is currently green, the color of Lakas-Kampi chairman Gilbert Teodoro Jr.
Growers from Canada and other countries where mangoes are grown have hinted at the use of performance-enhancing fertilizers, but the Socorros denied this.
“They are just jealous and want to keep the Filipino down,” they reportedly said.
Are Kapampangans getting ready to flee?
