We get it, Ely Buendia

You’re cool. You’re the face of ’90s rock.

You made up things like Tahong Chips Ahoy and turned the silly randomness of youth into the culture of a generation. You changed your name to Jesus “Dizzy” Ventura because you’re like our Michael Jackson. Nothing’s too weird for you, and that’s cool.

You totally deserve to be NU107’s Rock Boss (whatever that is) for May because, dude, you are so boss.

But Jesus Christ, did you have to come to that radio spot they keep playing pretty much every fucking hour stoned or lazy or both?

When Karl Roy of POT said in 1999 that his inspiration for his songs was “I take a lot of drugs,” I thought that was pretty cool. Because it was 1999 and we were all young and stupid and taking a lot of drugs.

When you tell us now that you get your new material from the “new material section beside the produce section at Shopwise department store,” it isn’t cool anymore. Not because the answer wasn’t witty. It was (in 1999).

But you delivered it in such a bored fashion that it went from laid back I say random things to just plain I don’t give a fuck.

And, dude, you’re a rock icon. You sort of owe it to the kids with dreams of being in a band to give better advice than just, you know, “listen to classic music.”

If Lourd de Veyra could go from singing about pigs and Astro cigarettes to making nation building hip, you can probably do better than telling the kids that music,” rock music for that matter,” started long before they were born.

In the intro to that radio spot, you ask mock philosophically “Why should I tell you who Ely Buendia is when I’m him?” On hindsight, maybe you really shouldn’t have.

(thx, mouse! no thx, ely!)

House of Reps to probe Smartmatic ‘hacking’

Members of the  House of Representatives, led by Speaker Prospero Nograles–loser in the Davao City mayoral elections–are meeting with representatives of the Commission on Elections and IT provider Smartmatic today to discuss allegations of ‘hacking’ in the May 10 polls.

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De Los Reyes back in the presidential race

Shortly after conceding defeat in Monday’s election, Ang Kapatiran Party’s (AKP) JC de los Reyes is back in the ring citing “conclusive irregularities in the numbers” that put into question his electoral defeat to Senator Benigno Aquino III and pretty much every other candidate on the ballot.

“If I do not speak against these new findings, then my party’s integrity, as well as my own, will be at risk,” de los Reyes, leader of the party that has sued action star Robin Padilla for appearing in ads for condoms, said.

De los Reyes, whom some have described as idealistic and a bit of a loon, said that he has been in meetings with equally idealistic but credible presidential candidate Nicanor Perlas and Senator Jamby Madrigal to discuss the alleged election irregularities. “We are putting a formal paper together which shall explain this in detail at the soonest possible time,” he said.

Kilusang Bagong Lipunan presidential bet Vitaliano Acosta, who got more votes than de los Reyes despite being disqualified as a nuisance candidate, could not be reached for comment. AKP’s chairman emeritus and founder declined to comment on de los Reyes, but implied that protesting Monday’s election is a matter of free will.

"No Comment"

Aborted secret election alliances

First, there was VillArroyo, then LegardAngara, followed by GloriAquino and MArroyo, all suggesting that in politics, no bedfellows are too strange.

Well, generally. Some alliances are just too ill-advised that they were deservedly still-born.

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Waily Revillame, amirite?

So, it seems Wowowee host and opiate of the people Willie Revillame threw a tantrum again.

I am Jesus...Christ!

Revillame was offended that Jobert Sucaldito, a commentator at ABS-CBN’s radio station DZMM, asked why the show chose to get students who got an average grade of 75-79% in school instead of, say, kids with better grades. To Revillame, this was tantamount to calling his contestants stupid, and he’s having none of it. He has threatened to leave the noontime variety show unless ABS-CBN fires Sucaldito. “I’m doing this for the masses. For the special children who have grades of 75%,” he said.

Sucaldito’s radio co-host Wendell Ramos has denied that anyone suggested the contestants were stupid. The point, apparently, was that it would have been better to get students with high grades to inspire children to study harder. With the employment market as it is, I guess getting on a game show is as good a career goal as any.

Not to put too fine a point on things, but getting an average of 75-79% sort of does mean that a student is not among the best and brightest. (Disclosure: I am not among the best and brightest.) That doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to be on Wowowee, of course, just that there are people smarter than they are.  Pointing that out doesn’t make one an asshole, or oppressive, or discriminatory.

But Willie wants to make it about that. He says he is standing up for his fans: the trash collectors, the poor, the people who don’t get good grades. Which would be great if they had anything to do with the whole thing. If  anyone, Willie was the one doing these average students a disservice by calling them special children and threatening to leave the show on their behalf. Defensive much?

In reaction, Sucaldito gave the only intelligent response in situations like this: Kaloka siya. Pikon sobra. (roughly: Shut up, you pansy.)