CNN Hero of the Year Doesn’t Get the Girl

Local media was agog (as much as it could be under the circumstances) when CNN Hero of the Year Efren Penaflorida admitted to courting actress and Encyclopedia Dramatica archenemy Angel Locsin.

Thanks a lot, Angel!

To no avail, it turns out, judging from his twitter stream.

Consider this gem, for example:

“Meowww,” he says in rough and rudimentary translation, “you’re a cool cat, my friend. It’s great that you’re making your presence felt. Where are you heading with Bubbz and Chito? Somewhere cool? Is it a cool party? Like somewhere super fun?”

To the untrained observer, the message seems like a typical twitter, uh, tweet. But that’s because your untrained observer didn’t spend his formative years in an all-male high school thinking up clever things to say to indifferent (and often non-existent) girls.

Underneath it all, what he’s saying is this:

“It’s great that you finally have time for us to communicate over twitter. I’m hoping that by mentioning that you’re going out with Bubbz and Chito, I can wrangle an invitation to come along.”

The “meowww,” though, well, that’s pretty much what he meant to say. Which, of course begs the question why would someone who is not a. a cat or b. a coquettish young woman go ‘meow’? Probably because he thought Angel would find it cute.

Judging from the next few tweets, neither subtle hint nor attempt at being cute worked. And really, things should not have to be this way for Mr. Penaflorida. He’s an Internet celebrity, for god’s sake! He’s done more for this country than I ever have, or will ever be able to barring a zombie infestation of some sort!

By all rights, women should be breaking down his door for bragging rights to having done it with a hero. I mean, everybody loves a hero, right?

Just look at what happened to action star/douche bag/Angel Locsin’s ex Richard Guttierrez who rescued co-star Cristine Reyes from Marikina floodwaters in true action-star fashion.

He got the girl, and was briefly in a news report that didn’t involve him filing a case in court or being the respondent in a court case.

The hero always gets the girl. That’s like a law of nature. Except, I guess, in the Philippines, where we prefer people who play heroes on TV to people who actually, you know, get shit done.

Thanks a lot, Angel!


  1. Oh man. There were high fives all ’round the Bates141 creative department when rumor slipped that Kuya Ef and Angel Locsin were an item. You see, we’d been working with the guy as early as pre-CNN hero status, so we were all pretty kilig that this selfless, dorkish man managed to bag ass as prolific as Angel Locsin.

    “Good for him!”, we said while bumping chests and slapping backs. “Ice cream for everyone!”

    Yun pala, ‘di na tuloy. Ah well. Can’t win them all I suppose.

  2. Damn. I was hoping he’d get laid. With enough luck, I was hoping the entire thing would get filmed and fill the streets of Quiapo.

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