Call it a preemptive strike, or some sort of premature ejaculation, but the Indolent Indio received a press release from Bagumbayan Senator Richard Gordon pretty much telling Liberal Senator Benigno Aquino III to STFU.
Archive for category gonzo journalism
We generally prefer GMANews.tv to Inquirer.net because there are fewer typographical and grammar errors (and ads.) Sometimes, though, they put up articles that leave us scratching our heads.
Consider this gem, for example:
Now, we get that saying that a member of the cabinet sucks cocks is probably libelous. The paragraph asks more questions than it answers, though. Most nagging of which are: What was he blowing on? Were they penises? Or just things that looked like penises? Were they hotdogs? I mean, that’s a pretty easy call to make, GMANews.tv.
You don't need to be a doctor to know your penises...
(Thx, Gibo Teodoro!)
QC mayoral race turns nasty
Dec 18
Welcome to the Nasty North.
Although it’s the city of the future, Quezon City proves that it is still in touch with its roots as it kicks off the festive election season with the traditional black propaganda campaign.
Dumbest News Flash Ever
Sep 17
Under the headline “Public warned of new ploy by robbers“:
MANILA, Philippines – Police warned the public on Wednesday against the new operation of a robbery group which attacks its victims by hitting them first on the head before carting away their valuables.
Gee, thanks, Philippine Daily Inquirer. That’s not even a ploy!
News of the abduction and rape of the daughter of an anti-drug agent rocked the country yesterday with some quarters calling for a lynching, and with both the President and the Speaker of the House calling for a revival of the death penalty. Staunch defender of women and morality Sen. Ramon Revilla, Jr., for his part, said nothing.
The Philippine National Police went the extra mile, however, and trumped the entire government by solving the case within hours of the story getting out.
They say that there was no abduction, no drugging and no rape. It was a drinking spree gone wrong is what it was. What happened was that the girl skipped school, got drunk and was brought home past curfew. The whole “I got abducted and raped by drug lords” story was just an alibi.
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PEP‘s coverage of the continuing adventures of Baron Geisler is full of both WIN and FAIL at the same time:
May kuwento pa na ipinaihaw pa raw ni Baron ang isang parrot at ginawang pulutan.
Pero napag-alaman later on na ang sinasabing “parrot” ay parrotfish, isang klase ng isda na kinakain daw talaga.
Baron Geisler would totally eat a parrot
That is all.
(Thanks for the link, Juancho Bombero!)
A member of the Philippine Football Team has tested positive for the dreaded (and slightly deadly) Influenza A (H1N1) in Singapore, sending the team’s Singaporean liaison and anyone who has come into close contact with the team into quarantine.
Accordingly, the game that they were scheduled to play has been cancelled.
Cancelled!
A hero’s welcome has been prepared for them by Environment and Natural Resources secretary Jose “Lito” Atienza, Jr. to honor “their spirit of true sportsmanship, their being the true epitome of team work, and for bringing honor and glory to the Philippines.”
A motorcade will bring them from the Ninoy Aquino International Airport through the streets of Manila and to Malacanang for a grand reception that will be hosted by President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.
Face masks and squeeze-bottles of hand sanitizer will be distributed at the event.
For Independence Day ’09, The Indolent Indio is publishing a series of posts that touch on nationalism, freedom, and crass comedy.
This is the first post in the series
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CSI: You're doing it wrong.
A recent study has shown that the value of the average Filipino has plummeted steadily over the years.
Whereas 20 years ago the Filipino was worth dying for, today, they are valued to be just worth getting crippled for. In some markets, the price is pegged much lower, with the average Filipino merely worth enduring a bout of minor migraines for.
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You Are Entering A Tin Foil Hat Zone
Is the Ako Mismo! campaign a proxy for Sen. Richard Gordon’s Bagumbayan-Volunteers for a New Philippines?
Probably not. And there is no real reason to think that it is. Unless you don’t consider that it probably totally is.
Left-wing party list groups launched the Makabayang Koalisyon ng Mamamayan (Makabayan) yesterday, a party for “the politics of genuine change…politikang mula sa masa [politics of the masses.]”
The event was marked by the attendance of such non-traditional politicians as Senators Manuel Roxas, Maria Ana Madrigal (the senator formerly known as Jamby) and Francis Pangilinan, as well as Pangasinan Rep. Jose De Venecia, Jr.
Also in attendance was Gina De Venecia, who, while not a politician per se, is married to one, and is planning to run for office in 2010.
