Chiz Escudero: A Listener’s Guide

chiz

“Say Chiz” was the corny  slogan used by Sen. Francis Escudero in his successful 2007 senatorial campaign.

He has since been climbing to the top of popularity surveys and could very well be the next president of the Philippines, partly because he gives good sound bites.

If you think about it, though, “Say Chiz” might be more aptly replaced with “say what?,” which is the thinking person’s reaction to hearing him on the news.

It’s not that he says stupid things, that is not it at all. Rhetoric is rhetoric, and one has to learn to cut out all the words, words, words to get to the soul of wit, as it were.

For example, asked whether the contract for the automated election project is valid despite the contractor’s documents being of doubtful authenticity, Escudero said thus:

“I will let the lawyers decide that in the court, if at all decide that should the case be brought before the court .”

Stripping away what is not essential, we have this:

“I will let the lawyers decide that in court.”

In the same interview, he is asked whether the Commission on Elections should still push through with automated elections with less than a year to go before May 2010, Chiz says:

“Again, admit, if they can do it, and if it can be done, make sure they can do it. If they cannot, admit and accept that also, and act accordingly.”


If anyone else were to say it, they could simply have said,

“if they can do it, then they should.  If they can’t, then why bother?”

On a recession projected by the World Bank, and a revenue collection shortfall reported by the Bureau of Internal Revenue:

“The government should realize the gravity of these developments and its impact on employment, which in turn will impact on hunger and poverty levels.”

Which, basically, means “that’s  fucked up.”

A basic rule of thumb when listening to Escudero is to watch out for the phrase “if at all” and pretty much ignore any usage of it.

An Escudero statement is usually full of stuff like “in my estimation and opinion” and “I accept and respect your opinion.” It’s a slick way to give emphasis, but it’s easy to get lost after listening for a while.

When in doubt, choose any of the two verbs he uses in the phrase, and you’re good to go. If you’re particularly pressed for time, forget the line altogether and move on.

Quotations were taken from actual transcripts. Kthx.

13 Comments

  1. when he speaks he appears as if he’s trying hard to recall some memorized lines and he twitches on every break in his long sentences.

    i wish escudero would just issue straightforward statements and do away with his pandering motherhood statements.

  2. Learning that the android he planted in the Philippine Senate spoke like an otherworldly robot (like Gort in his puberty), Klaatu plans to replace it with the Chiz Whiz 2.0 designed to sound less like a lawyer and more like an earthling.
    Unbeknownst to Klaatu, Gort thinks he’s in love with the upgrade.chizklaatu.jpg

  3. that’s strange. the first pic is gone again. maybe it’s yfrog’s image hosting that’s screwed up. Maybe you should keep the second pic after all. 🙂

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