Xenophobia Begins At Home 1: Indians

Actual Indians May Vary

Actual Indians May Vary

The Indians are one of our nation’s oldest trading partners. Widespread contact with India in pre-Hispanic times is evidenced by a great number of sanskrit loan words in our national language.

What We Call Them:
Bumbay– From Bombay, which is a city in India. It is by no means the only city in India from which all Indians come from.

5-6- For their loan practices. The math is probably complicated, but the basic rule of thumb is you borrow P500, and you pay P600.

What We Say About Them:
They stink, and so does their food. That’s pretty much it, I guess. Also, they can be called upon by yayas and mothers to kidnap disobedient children. Or, possibly, to take them as payment when said yaya or mother cannot cough up the P600 she owes.

Why We’re Douchbags For Saying It:
We all smell weird to other people. Filipinos, they say, smell of fish. Surely some culture in the world finds that abhorrent. Probably everyone else who isn’t Filipino or a fish.

Older generations of Filipinos actually gag or have asthma attacks when encountering Indians or their food. Aside from being absurdly OA, they conveniently forget that some Filipino stuff like bagoong and various meals made from gastric juices and animal innards are pretty fucked up, too.

As far as kidnapping goes, we’ve got things back-asswards. Indians are more likely to get kidnapped than your average child. Criminals probably think that a person who can afford to lend money is worth kidnapping.

Common sense holds, however, that a person who lends money is only really worth kidnapping if money owed is actually collected. One doesn’t have to work for the World Bank to know, though, that paying our debts is not a Filipino virtue.



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