Anti-Social Media: Fixing A-hole

People of the press love raffles, and why not?

We may never become the people we cover, but at least there’s a way for us to (arguably) legitimately get some of their spoils. The rationale/justification being it’s not a pay off if everyone has an equal chance at winning. And given how much we make, even just a goody bag stuffed with imported chocolates  is pretty rich stuff.

And that  is why a reporter for Monthly Magazine* was pissed off at an anniversary party for a regional airline. At the end of the party, the airline raffled off an all-expenses-paid trip for two to Bangkok** as a grand prize.

The douche bag emcee hosting the party, and reportedly sleeping with the a top executive of that airline, picked the winning entry out of a hat (we assume) and said:

“And the winner is, from Monthly Magazine…

…Emcee’s Random Friend who does not work for Monthly Magazine!”

Cue feigned surprise (or actual surprise for the hack of a broadsheet known for its gripping and comprehensive coverage of job vacancies and second-hand cars who suddenly found out she worked at Monthly Magazine) and the hateful death stares of every other reporter, advertising executive, and decent human being at the hotel where the party was held.

Sources say the douche bag emcee does this all the time, doling out raffle prizes and other swag to members of his media mafia, whom we shall call Team Yuck. Members of the team lap it up, of course, and treat the douche bag emcee like he’s some sort of Supremo or whatever.

"Who, me? Not me! (Then, who?)"

Team Yuck’s fawning and their ability to say “fuck you” to both the art of writing and to integrity gets them more gifts, strings, and stints with up-market magazines and newspaper sections.

There is, after all, nobody better fed than a well-behaved and obedient dog.

*Not, obviously, the actual title of the magazine because that would just be lazy.

** Actually, its proper name is Krungthep Maha Nakorn, Amarn Rattanakosindra, Mahindrayudhya, Mahadilokpop Noparatana Rajdhani Mahasathan, Amorn Piman Avatarn Satit, Sakkatultiya Vishnukarn Prasit.

Anti-Social Media: Gentleman of the Press

A veteran employee at one government office stands to lose his retirement benefits over a bullshit complaint by a reporter from a small (in size and circulation) paper.

The reporter is, himself, rather small.

The reporter has accused the employee, who works in the media division of that government office, of kicking him and cursing at him over some minor misunderstanding.

 

Apparently, the reporter was lying on a couch in a room where government media hang out. Incidentally, he was also getting in the way of people trying to do their jobs.

 

When the government employee, a veteran photojournalist who has covered wars in Vietnam and Mindanao, tapped the reporter with his foot to ask him to get out of the way, the reporter got offended.

 

He immediately got on the phone to complain to the media division head saying he had been kicked. The cursing came after, and actually has basis. Pissed off at the fuss, the veteran photojournalist did say “Putang ina.”

 

Which, come on, doesn’t even mean anything anymore. Not when, as a source says, you’re a tabloid reporter who makes jokes about anal sex and sex in general. Besides, anyone who has worked with that government employee knows he’s cranky, half-deaf, and curses like a pirate all the time.

 

Putang ina. Kung sinipa ko siya, e di putok mukha nga (If I kicked him, his face would be busted),”  the government employee reportedly said in his defense. And, to be fair, the tabloid reporter’s face is. But that is from years ago and only the scars remain.

 

In an ideal world, journalists watch out for excesses and abuses in government. And it seems this tabloid reporter has taken that to heart, seeing the encounter as an affront to press freedom (or something similar).

 

This is not the first time, either. Sources say the tabloid reporter has previously raised hell after policemen guarding the government office he covers refused to let a taxi he was riding in enter the complex without leaving an ID. Incensed that the policeman did not know who he was and had the gall to do his job, our reporter had him summoned to the press office and gave him a dressing down until the cop apologized. For doing his job.

 

He may get his way again this time. We have been told that the media division is leaning on its employee to apologize just to get the bullshit complaint out of the way. Reportedly, he has already been suspended pending a decision on the complaint.

 

No word, though, on whether the tabloid reporter will ever apologize using the government agency’s name when he got arrested over something. Just when his press credentials would have come in handy (but unethically), our reporter took the moral high road and just claimed to be on the staff of a government official.

The reporter has been trying to make the career shift to political operator and has curried a lot of favor with government officials. He has been known to brag about his connections and his ability to get the government to pay for food and medicine for his friends.

You can call him “Bata” because he is child-like and because, as our tipster says, “bata siya ng mga politiko.” His family name is an island somewhere in the Visayas. Boracay, maybe?

"Puwede."

(Thx for the tip, Indolent reader Payanig Sa Pa-Astig!)

Anti-Media Social: Our Lady of Pangasinan

Here’s a nice reversal on things.

Sectoral group Bayan Muna filed a plunder case against Pampanga Representative Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo Thursday over the failed ZTE National Broadband Network deal. Reporters scrambled to cover it and got the story.

Here is a sidebar to the whole thing:

While this was going on, politician sent out a text message to reporters on different beats. His subtle message? “XXX can be asked for comments on the sixth plunder complaint against ex-PGMA.” While some politicians would have been content with releasing a written statement to the press, this one wanted to be interviewed even though nobody was asking.

Our baby mouse tells us that journalists who took the bait and called him up to ask questions were then told (politely) to wait because the politician was busy.

Although he is new in politics and cannot be expected to know how to deal with the press yet, he will gave to learn quickly or never have to deal with the press again.

A clue: Like his once prominent father, this politician can be referred to by his initials, one of which is J. His father used to be influential but the family’s fortunes have taken a turn since a falling out with Malacanang.

Anti-Social Media: Tiger Blood

"Just the facts, ma'am"

 

Just so you know, fellow indolent indios, Pampanga Representative Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo’s first press conference since moving from the House on the River to the House of Representatives was not held just so she could lambaste the Aquino administration for its lack of leadership.

She did not, for example, call her son’s lackey at the House press corps, and say, “Hey, Mr.Sheen*,  the flood situation in Cotabato has caused me much concern and we need to hold a press conference in Lubao to talk about it.”

The press conference was actually planned weeks in advance but had to be rescheduled because a.) Rep. Macapagal-Arroyo had to be rushed to the hospital for a pinched nerve and b.) Mr. Sheen just plain fucked up.

You see, bickering on the beat had gotten so bad that when Mr. Sheen’s principal, another congressman from Pampanga but not necessarily representing Pampanga, tapped him to get the media to attend Mrs. Arroyo’s press conference, he excluded members of the media that his clique was not cool with.

Which, as a dude, is sort of cool, but as an operator, not so much. After all, if you’re going to ask for a Ford Explorer in exchange for selling out your journalistic ethics, you’re expected to deliver as much media mileage as possible. By excluding people you’re not on good terms with, but who are still members of the media, you’re pretty much shooting yourself in the foot.

Given that among those members of the media that Mr. Sheen excluded was a reporter for a conservative national daily with a circulation of thousands, Mrs. Arroyo’s official spokesperson (i.e. not an operator with a press pass) had to step in and invite everybody.

And so, we get what we had last week, which was Mrs. Arroyo slagging her former Economics student for not being a good President. Which she might not actually be wrong about. But the point is, it was planned weeks in advance.

As for Mr. Sheen, we can just call him that because despite all evidence, he still thinks that he is, as his Hollywood counterpart does, that he is winning. When, as an operator, he almost failed.

*Not his real name, obviously.

Anti-Social Media: Freethinkers game tabloid

When you live in an absurd world, it’s sometimes hard to know when someone is kidding. Like in the case of tabloid newspaper Abante, which apparently lifted a story from the website of the Filipino Freethinkers.

Sadly, that story falls under fake news, a form of comedy made popular in the early 2000s when the world was not yet such a silly place.

 

Satire: not our strong suit

Compare that with this story on Abante.com.ph, which quotes a group whose name sounds vaguely like Tagalog slang for that crud that accumulates on the tip of your penis if you’re a slob (or, as science-minded folks call it, smegma) .

 

Oops.

 

Blogger MisterVader, who tipped us off had this to say:

It’s sad enough that you plagiarized an article from a blog without giving them a single ounce of credit. What makes this steaming pile of fail even worse is that you plagiarized a parody article and passed it off as news. That’s just depressingly pathetic.

Nobody can tell what this will mean for the Reproductive Health bill. Probably nothing. Some reporters are getting drunk tonight, though. That much is sure.

Thanks for the tip, MisterVader!