The Southwestern University in Cebu is set to give Manny “Pacman” Pacquiao an honorary doctorate in Human Kinetics for being one of the country’s most bad-ass bad asses.

Apparently, there is currently no doctorate in Kickassery, so they’re going to give him in an advanced degree in sports science.

"That's DOCTOR Pacquiao to you!"

Not to sour grape or anything, but sports science is serious business, and getting a Ph.D in it for being good at sports is not a good idea.

True, doctorates probably don’t amount to much in this country considering that THE Ateneo gave former president Joseph Ejercito Estrada a doctorate in something or other when he was president.

To be fair, THE Ateneo also mobilized its predominantly upper and middle-class studentry to oust him years later, so I guess that sort of makes up for it. Also, never mentioning the doctorate thing ever again.

Still, giving the Pacman a doctorate in sports science for being a good boxer would be like giving that special child in Mercury Rising a doctorate in cryptology. Sure, they’re good at it, but that doesn’t mean that they actually understand the science behind the thing.

This guy

And really, Southwestern U., how much more of an honor would a Ph.D be for Pacquiao? He’s already the champ, the Pambansang Kamao, the country’s ambassador for peace (or whatever), a GMA Kapuso star, and a winnable congressional candidate. The only thing that could possibly trump all that is to be declared a god. Maybe by one of the the Banahaw Rizalista sects. I mean, he already sort of looks like Jose Rizal.